Oct. 16th, 2006

mangacide: (Wish)
I'd like to think that I've grown some over the years.
I was a complete wreck the first couple days that Sker was gone, but I'm doing much better now. Nami kicked my ass and told me how pathetic I looked. I'm a lot like Colette I suppose. I'm not physically strong, and I don't get to go out much, and also, the things that come from my imagination are always so very real to me. I have no control over them at all. haha, I even have dark hair like her. Although hers is much darker, and longer, than mine.
It's always been like that though.
One of the first characters I ever made was Johnsey. And she...is very very much like Namine today. She was a cowgirl though. Ferice and though as nails. Thats always the kind of person I wanted to be. Not like me at all ^.^|| Anyway, tomorrow Sker will be home, and all will be right with the world :รพ

No one ever wants to talk about it, it's embarrassing, or taboo, or something. But this is my journal, so I will say it here.
I roleplay durring sex. It's fun, but more than that, it's a wall. Because sex scares me. And having sex scares me, so I use that fantasy world as a way to cope with that fear. Which is good, because I like sex.
But...if something happened to Sker, I don't know that I would be able to be intimate like that with someone else. It would be too scarey, and, I don't think I could find someone else who would be willing to indulge my imagination like that. It would be...very very difficult I think.


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